Top Ten Best Rums in the World Ever, Ever (Part Two)

RON ZACAPA XO Rum review by the fat rum pirateFor those who haven’t read Part One it is here.  To not read the first part will probably leave you a little confused…….

Here, we will continue our look at the 10 most annoying, outlandish, poorly researched or just plain lazy Click Bait pieces of so called journalism that have befallen our less than noble spirit over the past few years.

These next 5 articles take us up a step or two from the previous 5.  In many ways the articles are similar but I would suggest that the articles contained in this piece will have reached a wider audience than those in Part One.  Making them infinitely worse!  Some of these articles are entirely self indulgent pieces of marketing nonsense and others are just so ineptly researched a 5 year old could probably do a better job for a school project!  (Apologies in advance if any of these articles were written by a 5 year old as a School Project in fact no scrap that – you should still do better)

Once again the entire article doesn’t have to be awful – a couple of ridiculous statements can be all that is needed to bring the credibility of the article crashing down……..

the_telegraph_LUX5.  UK newspaper The Telegraph with their less than wonderful take on “The Rum Revolution

Hopelessly behind the times and focusing on brands which, by in large have done more to damage the reputation of rum and ensure their initial stereotypes are still alive and kicking………..

“The thought of drinking neat rum might shiver the timbers of those harbouring beliefs the spirit will blister tongues and barnacles”

“it’s worth noting it has a sugar base, which presents a sweet starting point”

Are a couple of the stand out quotes.  The second of which brings about the whole “rum is naturally sweet” argument.  It’s not and anyone who has bothered to even look up the very basics of distillation knows this all to well.

It’s not all bad but it’s not all great in this article.  They have however brought in Edgar Harden (of Old Spirits) to at least give something decent to read in the article.  Unfortunately it comes crashing back down when we start discussing these “luxurious” rums.  The usual suspects are here Diplomatico, Zacapa and we also have the Bacardi Facundo range.

Sadly the Bacardi Facundo range isn’t readily available as yet in the UK and you just get the feeling that a wonderful chance to focus on independent or more honest bottlers has been missed.  I doubt very much if the journalist has seen anymore of the Facundo range than the photo’s in this article – let alone tasted any of the line up

Yes Foursquare are included but in a final twist rather than highlight a photo of a Doorlys or a Rum Sixty Six – instead we get Diplomatico Ambassador in it’s place.  I doubt Mr Seale would be very impressed………

The article just feels a little rushed and could have been a lot longer and more informative.  Maybe Tom Sandham’s article was edited so I’ll cut him some slack as his stuff is usually more than decent.

4. GlobeandMailNext up is a Canadian newspaper with their own unique take on what is good in the Spiced and Aged rum world.

The article itself makes a mish-mash of reading – you are never quite sure if the writer is talking about aged or spiced rum or something entirely different.  I don’t think they actually know the distinction anyway!

“A good spiced rum can provide depth and character to an otherwise one-note rum cocktail,” says Lauren Mote, co-owner of Bittered Sling bitters, bar manager at Vancouver’s UVA Wine & Cocktail Bar and winner of Diageo World Class Canada Bartender of the Year, 2015.”

A good spiced rum? I’m not disputing there are good Spiced Rums (I’ve written my own piece on Spiced Rum). However here are the choices

Captain Morgan 100, Lamb’s Black Sheep (the article even state using this a digestif!) and Bacardi Fuego which is about as far away from rum or Spiced rum as you can get.  With 92 g/L of added sugar this Cinnamon flavoured mess is amongst one of the worst drinks on the planet! AND it’s actually being marketed as a shooter by Bacardi. Which is exactly what the title line of this article says it is not!

Oh dear.

The rums in the aged category aren’t bad at all but the article really hits the spot of sheer stupidity with the following statement

“Where aging is concerned, rum’s secret weapon is the Caribbean sun, which stimulates much greater interaction between the spirit and wooden barrel than would occur in, say, the far chillier north of Scotland. This so-called “Caribbean aging” means that by some estimations one year in a barrel in the south is the equivalent of as much as two or three in the north.”

How can ageing something in the Caribbean be “so-called”?

How else would you describe something aged in the Caribbean? It is after all aged in the Caribbean.

Clearly the writer has had too much Fuego for his own good………

3.  Haute LivingNext up is an online magazine based on “luxury” living.

The article is not a list of great rums or a informative piece on the history of rum.  It actually focuses on one particular rum brand and is as brazen a piece of marketing schmoozing as you are ever likely to see.

The title for many will be more than enough to annoy.  The article itself is here.  This is the less subtle and much less informative style of article that we previously saw ranked at number 6.  This is just out and out marketing taken directly from the companies website.

To the writers of this article…………we know only too well that Zacapa is a town in eastern Guatemala that lies 751ft above sea level.  We’ve seen it regurgitated a million times already by lazy journalists and marketing men and women.

AND no none of the following are particularly “new” to us either……..

Virgin Sugar Cane Honey, Above the clouds, A female master blender and sadly for all of us Award Winning.  Yes we know all this and if had needed to make sure we could just have easily clicked here as all you have actually done is reproduce their marketing!

Well done! As pointless an article as a Chocolate Fireguard.

7 reasons to drink Ron Zacapa 1 big reason never to read Haute Living again……..

2.  ImbibeNow I would usually expect a little better of Imbibe magazine.  They are “commercial” but they usually produce decent articles, albeit with a distinctly commercial feel.  However they got the balance a bit wrong with this interview and I was left with a bit of a bad taste in the mouth when someone was allowed to so freely and blatantly promote their own rums as “essential”.  Many others around the Rum Community felt the same.

Ed Hamilton (founder of Ministry of Rum) amongst other things gives a insight into his essential rums.  The title at least is not mis-leading they are indeed some of Ed’s Essential rums.  Essential to his wallet……..

Hamilton is invited to give us the rundown and he kicks of immediately with a Ti’ Punch made with Neisson Rhum Blanc (for whom he works as a rep).

We then get Ed’s mixer which is El Dorado 5 Year Old (he acquires his Demerara from DDL makers of El Dorado), followed closely by a shout out for Santa Teresa Gran Anejo and Don Q Crystal.  I can’t find any links to Ed and these rums however his last few entries restore the ridiculous bias……..

Hamilton 151 and his own Cask Strength St Lucia to which he adds the rather bizarre comment of “I just bottled a series of cask-strength rums in St. Lucia; to my knowledge, they’re the only cask-strength rums where you can find a picture of the distillery online, and of the actual barrels this rum was aged in”

I can’t even get my head around that comment! A rum producer showing picture of its distillery and barrels online is the Unique Selling Point of this rum? Ehhhhhh?  The idea of Pot Still St Lucian rum would be the seller for me.  Then again what do I know?

As annoying as Zacapa’s list via Haute Living was, this “advert” disappointed me a lot more.   I don’t think we’ve been given a fair overview of Essential Rums at all.

1.  business insiderThis is the article which really made me decide to produce a “Top Ten”.

I could have produced any number of “lists” which had roughly the same rums and same marketing styles, so I have tried to vary this list to ensure we have a good variety.  Me bashing Pyrat and Diplomatico over the head time and time again would have been of little interest.  Besides which personal preference is just that I make a point of not being too “preachy”.  No one likes being told what they should like!

Having said all that we conclude here with a list of  13 rums picked by “experts from FindTheBest”.  So it seems odd that the list begins with number 12………..

Number 4 also seems to make a re-appearance right at the bottom of the list.  Now these are just minor petty niggles and not the real problem at the heart of this article.

It’s real problem, like one of the other lists is it is based on victories in various rum categories in competitions.  Which gives the list a very random feeling culminating in number 2 and 3 both being Abuelo rums.

All in all there is little research and the article is very much thrown together.  Offering little of any real note.  The notes on each rum are merely marketing pieces.  Again I’m left questioning whether the writers have even tasted these rums.  (I very much doubt it)

However the “piece de resistance” in this article is that the number one rum in the world is (drum roll)…………

Leblon Cachaca

 

Leblon Cachaca.

 

 

 

I rest my case.  The RUM world needs these articles? Really? I think not.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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2 comments on “Top Ten Best Rums in the World Ever, Ever (Part Two)

  1. Thanks Rus glad you enjoyed it. There will be a few more articles like this in 2016. They’re not getting away with it!

  2. Just saw this and want you to know you gave us some great belly laffs! A rainy day in miami,glad that the biggest problem is deciding what rum to toast u with! Funny shite!

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