See what I did there? If it’s not yet apparent then what I have done with my title is infer that this article is going to include the ten greatest rums produced in the whole wide world ever……….

It isn’t.  Instead, what it is going to do is run down the ten most annoying, outlandish, poorly researched or just plain lazy Click Bait pieces of so called journalism that have befallen our less than noble spirit over the past few years.  Articles which have reeled us all in with promises of hidden gems and new an enticing rum experiences.

Anyone who contributes to the various Rum Communities on Facebook, Reddit and Google+ must have come across one of these lists and shook their head in disgust at the contents.  What I will say this isn’t a go at those people who have shared these posts.  I for one really enjoy these lists.  Not in an informative way but as a means to cut through the bullshit and hopefully give people a more reasoned sense of what the list was intended to do.  Please note these lists are very rarely intended to actually educate a rum consumer to make smarter purchases.

This top ten will be made up of lists so bad they can be condemned in their entirety to mere snippets of marketing bollocks that have been (un)wittingly passed on by the journalist without questioning their validity and pretty much anything in between the two “stools”.

So here we go with the first 5

10.  Top of the Google Search of “Best Rums in the World” comes Gayot.com (pronounced as they helpfully explain as guy-OH) tagline “the guide to the good life”.

“The Flavour of the Islands” is beneath the articles tagline and they go to explain explain these are the top ten sipping rums (in the world)………

To be honest this list isn’t at all bad (although I don’t think they have actually ranked the rums in any particular order).  The “click bait” 1-10 seems a liitle random and they don’t actively identify any rum as being the “best”. (I don’t think the 1-10 is really listing the rums in that order as such)

One of the biggest issues with this list is the lack of genuine tasting notes, it just seems to be regurgitated marketing speak.

However, the thing which really makes me question the credibility of this list is not just the inclusion of the Vizcaya 21 but the appearance of the ludicrously over-priced liqueur like Pyrat Cask 1623.  Also note no sign of any rum from Foursquare or an aged Rhum Agricole of any description.

9.  Next up is the “Ten Best Bottles of Rum in the World” once again quite a statement to make but clearly TheStreet know their stuff!

Well actually no – they don’t but they have at least sought out some experts in the shape of the International Spirits and Wine Competition (ISWC).  The writer has also taken the time and effort to consult Wikipedia prior to writing the introduction.

The problem with this list is that they seem to have picked ten random winners in the various rum categories at the ISWC awards  (it should be noted that budget Supermarkets Lidl and Aldi have their spirits judged and handed medals in these competitions as well).  The results?

Rhum Neisson, 3 rums from Angostura, 1 from Rum Company (a rather interesting looking Guadaloupe Calvados finish), El Dorado 12, Havana Club Seleccion de Maestros, Inner Circle Green Dot (an Australian rum) and finally Appleton Estate 8 and 21.

Hardly a balanced overview of the rum world but some interesting selections nonetheless.  The articles connecting to each rum are hardly inspiring.  Mostly marketing.  It might however provoke some interest in some decent and varied rum.

8.  Grab List

Indeed this particular list does have a very much “grabbed” feel about it.  This is not the Top Ten Rums in the world but the top ten brands.  The introductions is cringe worthy and reminiscent of a 12 year old’s school project type paper.

The actual top ten are a pretty eclectic mix.  How the wrter Santosh Kumar has come up with this list I have absolutely no idea.  Take number 3 for example

“3. Tilaknagar

It is another Indian drinks company that really performs excellently in the field of alcoholic beverages. Madira is one of its top selling rum that made the company extremely famous all over the world.”

I’m pretty sure it isn’t just my ignorance which means I have never heard of this rum nor the company responsible for it.  All I can think is it sells an awful lot in India.

It’s also worth noting the Mohan Meakin are not featured in this to ten despite them being the second best sellers in India.  Interesting.

This list has largely flew under the radar and to be honest it isn’t one of the worst I have seen.  It is rubbish and pretty much pointless but it is nowhere near as bad as some of the lists that are further down the rankings………..

7.  Next up are Crave Online 

Now this article is exactly that, an article which explains why Rum is the New Whisky.  Now first of all the whole “converting whisky drinkers to rum” thing really pisses me off.  It shows exactly the kind of inferiority complex rum seems to suffer from.  “You should really try (insert random rum) if you like a nice bourbon”.  Piss Off!

However the article takes an even more cynical turn and is basically Joy Spence from Appleton Estate trying to promote their rum via Crave Online.

The only reason this doesn’t appear higher in the list is that strangely it doesn’t feature and photo’s of any Appleton rums and despite it being a bit of a “plug” most of what Spence says makes perfect sense.

As the list goes on you will see there are for more cynical pieces of sheer advertising cheek being paraded around the net!

6.  Caribbean Journal

 

I’d usually expect better of Caribbean Journal.  Surely such a site should be able to come up with a decent list of quality rums, which have been well researched.  And I’m pretty sure they have done just that in the past.

Unfortunately in this instance they have decided to focus on “American”  rums.  Again not a bad thing but lets have a closer look at what has been selected.

First up to cause my eyebrows too twitch was the final line of the Siesta Key piece ” Siesta Key’s signature spiced blend is a gold-medal knockout that isn’t just the best in America — it’s better than any in the Caribbean, too.”  For something called Caribbean Journal to say that is some statement to make!

Papa’s Pilar is up next.  Named after Ernest Hemingway’s boat the rum (especially the Dark 24) is a concoction hailing from many different corners of the Caribbean and beyond and with almost as many maturations and finishes.  It’s heavily sugared as well which should surprise no-one.

However according to the research ” This is a blend of rums from around the US and the Caribbean, but it’s distilled right in America” I’m pretty sure I don’t need to say anything at this point.  One more educated commentator and fellow unfortunate reader of this article has asked how this works – needless to say he has had little by way of a valid answer thus far.  I wonder why…….

Next up is one my particular favourite marketeers Lost Spirits Distillery.  According to the article as well as produce aged spirits in his reactors, Bryan can also produce Demerara rum in the US! Simply incredible!

The rums featured in this article aren’t all bad but the lack of research beyond marketing lines is terrible.  I’d be surprised if the writer has even tasted any of the rums mentioned.

So that completes our first five awful pieces of so called journalism.  I’ve every confidence that few people will have got a great deal out of any of the lists and many will be left as disenchanted as myself and many others around the Rum Community.

Don’t be too concerned about these though.  They are just the tip of the Iceberg.  The next five (which will be published soon) are far, far worse………..