It was way back in November 2017 when I first published a list of the “Worst Ten Rums”. By this point the website had been active for around 3 and a half years. Fast forward to 2024 and I thought it would be interesting to see how a Ten Worst Rums might look now……
Now, I will be publishing this in various rum groups on Facebook as well as here on the website. So I am going to outline the criteria used when compiling this list. I know fine well that this will still not stop people commenting, without first reading this introduction. It might however save me from having to shake my head and roll my eyes at least once!
First up none of the rums that are in this Top Ten have been re-evaluated or re-assessed. The list is compiled initially by comparing those rums which have been given the lowest scores at the time of review.
In order to give the list a good variety, I will not include more than one rum per producer/brand. It will be the worst offender I have found in that producer/brands line up. Also if the rum is no longer available then I will no longer include it.
I will also not be including any Spiced or Flavoured Rums. Or rather I won’t be including any rums which are advertised or promoted as Spiced or Flavoured. The list will focus on rums advertised as “straight” rums. Though it will become clear that often these rums are not quite as “straight” as some might have us believe.
Yes we are talking additives. For those who like the sweetened end of the spectrum – please turn away now. Your adolescent taste buds are not going to like this list…..at all.
Also on the subject of additives. Some of the reviews are before 2020 – around which time (I think) the EU set the limit of 20g/L of additives in rum. So some of the rums may not be quite as awful as they were before. However, the worst offenders are still appealing to the same demographic and I have seen no backlash from consumers over rums being any less sweet……
The rums are ranked based on the score I gave in my original review. The list is based on one mans opinion. Right or wrong.
So without further ado here we go……..
10. Plantation XO Barbados 20th Anniversary
Plantation came in at number 10 on my last list. They appear again but this time with a different and even worse offering.
This is one of their most well known rums. Certainly one of the brands cash cows. Much loved online and a very good seller.
Firstly – its not 20 years old as many retailers will have you believe. Secondly Barbados Rum really does not need the level of additives used in this. A more grown up version of Bumbu is what this is in reality. Which is not a compliment!
A truly awful example of Barbados Rum and something the Barbados GI – which Plantation are currently “blocking” would not permit to be labelled Barbados Rum.
The first of two entries from the home of Paddington Bear. Another example of what appeals to the “fancy bottle brigade”. All fur coat and no knickers. Style over Substance. Sugary water over Authentic Rum.
Not quite as bad as Ron Millonario XO – but certainly not far behind it terms of puke inducing foulness. You can almost feel your teeth rotting as you sip this insipid swill.
I guess you are probably all getting a good idea which direction this list is heading in……
It would seem that in Belize 2 years is classed as old….because that is the age of this monstrosity. I bought this as an import so paid south of £30 for it. I bought it on the back of a positive review. Seek out that review it stills lurks online, sadly. If this was just a young rum then I wouldn’t have had such beef with it. I’d have accepted it as entry level fayre. Unfortunately its use of the words “refined” and “old” really stick in my craw when I’m drinking something which has a strange maple syrup/butterscotch like concoction running through it. It’s so artificial it tastes almost plastic-like. See-no evil, smell-no evil. Despite the changes to the list this one is still hanging in the top 10.
Even a change of name can’t disguise this repulsive muck. I’m quite surprised I even gave it one star to be honest. One of those rums where you feel a little queasy just thinking about your experience of. Had the funny “mineral-ey” note found in Bacardi Superior but they’d dialled it up a bit and added a hefty dose of tar and nasty burnt tobacco. I struggled with this even in cola. Definitely heavily coloured and a rum which I am convinced just doesn’t have a clue what it is meant to be. We need a dark rum……..no Bacardi you really didn’t. I still have nightmares about this one.
6. Comandante Fidel Ron Anejo del Caribe
I picked this up in 2019 in Barcelona. It was quite readily available in Spain at around that time. I can’t recall seeing it recently but I’ve not been on the mainland recently. Yes it was/is cheap and to its credit doesn’t have any additives.
Unfortunately that is where the good points about this rum ended. It was truly awful reminding me a little of another “Ron” that you find in Mallorca. Ron Tobacco – and yes it does taste how I would imagine the contents of an ash tray would – if mixed with some rats piss.
Don’t buy it even for the “cool/edgy” label and branding. Terrible stuff.
This is marketed as a fine sipping rum from an artisan distillery in Peru. Personally I find that story a bit fanciful. Even if this rum is produced at an artisan distillery, there is precious little evidence of the actual distillate by the time Ron Millonario XO ends up in the bottle. Without doubt one of the most altered rums available. It is almost like perfume. For anyone who thinks this is “pure” rum and a product of exceptional distillation and ageing – you’re only fooling yourself. Another pricey premium product which is simply not worth the money. It has its fans but they really are deluded.
Technically I shouldn’t have included this as a “rum”. This particular variant of “Bundy” is bottled at only 37% ABV. Which means it legally isn’t rum in the EU. Still having tried this, I didn’t exactly rush out to try the other expressions (an export 40% version is available). I had to include Bundaberg as it is truly without doubt one of the world’s worst rums. Its rough and tastes like nothing else. Bad whisky is the best comparison I can give. Nothing can mask the taste and small of Bundaberg Original UP Rum. The stuff is legendary and absolutely bloody awful! Quite why we bother importing the damn stuff is beyond me. So glad I never tried it when I was in Australia in 2009 or I may never have started drinking rum!
As with Bundaberg – I arguably shouldn’t really include this in the list as it is (very subtlety) not as a “Spirit Drink” as it comes in at just 35% ABV. However, it is always in the rum section both online and in physical stores. Plus it has become such a “Poster Boy” for all that is wrong with rum amongst enthusiasts that I couldn’t not include this.
It has all the additives, all the fancy marketing, all the marketing fairy tales and the bottle to ensure your average consumer thinks they are getting a great “rum”.
I’m afraid they really aren’t with this concocted muck.
Don Papa avoided the original 2017 list by virtue of the fact I hadn’t reviewed any expressions. Sadly I have since experience the “7” and this 10 year old abomination. This replaces Ron de Jeremy XO at number two. That rum has been discontinued so I haven’t included it in the list. Nevertheless this still would have snuck in at number 2. I was gifted around 3/4 of a bottle by someone who had been given the bottle and couldn’t drink it!
Neither could I……
1. A.H Riise Danish Royal Navy Rum
Probably the worst thing about this particular rum is the fact that as it isn’t their most “Premium” offering. So it probably isn’t their worst. Needless to say after trying this “grog” I have no desire to inflict any more damage upon my taste buds. According to the company website this is made from Pot Still Guyana rum. Well like the Millonario good look spotting that!
First up is the smell of this “rum”. It absolutely stinks of artificial sweeteners and confectionary. Nasty horrible cheap boiled sweets. Taste-wise this stuff really doesn’t improve.This makes Millonario XO seem almost rum-like. In terms of a Navy Rum this is as far away from Pussers as it could possibly be. It can shake as many Gold Medals and fans at me as it likes as well. I can’t help it if people do not know what rum can and should be! Without doubt the worst rum I have had so far on my journey. This is the ultimate “sipping” rum fantasy. Any “rum lover” who rates this – I’m sorry to say it but you haven’t a clue at all.
So there we have it an update for 2024. I hope you’ve enjoyed the list. If you haven’t and I’ve included your favourites then I recommend you read The Rum Howler in future!
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