Everything You Know About Bumbu is a Lie: The Bottling of Bajan Bananas Foster
I’m not even going to ask if anyone has “stumbled” across this bottling as I have in previous articles. If you are in the UK or Europe Bumbu is almost unavoidable.
Even my local supermarket sells it. It is frequently and aggressively discounted. It has the big bucks backing so can afford to act as a loss leader to try and further chip into the Bacardi and Captain Morgan Duopoly.
It sits on the shelf like a bloated, desperate paperweight designed to ensnare the most clueless shopper in the aisle. It looks premium it has a massive Silver “Pirate” type cross on it. X Marks the Spot for Treasure?
The glass so stupidly thick to give it weight and kudos. Attempting to hide the lack of quality of the “rum” inside.
The branding is pathetically pirate-y with a fictionalised Bajan background interwoven to try and add authenticity. It screams for your attention. It promises a Premium experience from Barbados. I would say when they chose to bring this to market Barbados was (and for many still is) the “poster boy” for Authentic Rum alongside Jamaica.
The bottle on the shelf looks Premium it has a nice £5 discount and it wasn’t that expensive to start with. £30 I might as well give it a try.
That’s your first mistake.
Bumbu’s branding is fake. Bumbu is not a distillery. It is a cynical marketing project engineered to capitalise on the public obsession with Caribbean spirits. The entire operation rests upon a foundation of lies and industrial scale chemical engineering. It’s a pathetic joke. Lets explain all this in more detail
The Genesis: A Manufactured History
The Bumbu story is a textbook example of modern corporate bullshit. In reality it is a journey that begins not in the sugar cane fields or even with a Copper Pot still but with a soulless boardroom strategy. One we have already seen used by the likes of Zacapa, Dictador and Don Papa to varying degrees.
The Bumbu Rum Co. (thats a joke in itself) identified the “Barbados” label as a goldmine. They talk of Artisanal processes and use tired Pirate and Caribbean imagery to provide a mass produced spirit with a soul and back story that simply is not true.
They use hard hitting celebrity marketing, like their high profile campaigns featuring Lil Wayne (whoever the fuck he is) to buy instant credibility. Millions of casual drinkers see the rapper (so I’m told) holding a bottle and immediately associate the contents with quality.
True quality does not require a famous face to validate the liquid inside the glass. If it did Richard Seale would be on every Foursquare bottle front and centre. In fact you’d probably have his face plastered on 200 foot billboards at the Barbados Airport!
Since its inception Bumbu has relied on this celebrity star power. By leveraging these highprofile figures to peddle the liquid, they bank on the fact that if the presentation is sufficiently flashy, the average consumer will not pause to question why the liquid tastes like a cloying, chemical-heavy, synthetic Bananas Foster nightmare. Mmmmmm sweet and smooth just how I like my Spirit Drink. Just don’t make it too rummy eh?
What is Bananas Foster? A classic New Orleans dessert, Bananas Foster consists of Bananas sautéed in a rich, buttery Caramel sauce made from Brown sugar, Cinnamon, Rum, and Banana liqueur, often flambéed tableside. It is an indulgent, dessert-forward flavour profile defined by intense sweetness, cooked fruit, and spice.
When you drink Bumbu, you aren’t tasting aged cane spirit; you are tasting a shortcut to this exact dessert profile—minus the actual culinary craftsmanship.
They are peddling a lifestyle accessory for people with more money than sense. They are not selling a spirit. They are certainly not selling a craft or artisanal rum. It is pure shite.
Any way less of the abuse and lets get back to some facts.
The Great Label Deception: It’s Not Even Rum
Regular readers to this website will probably be aware of this already. For those of you who are new the site – please read on if this comes as a shock to you. You are exactly who these articles are aimed at!
The biggest lie about Bumbu is the one hiding in plain sight: it isn’t even classified as rum. They don’t classify it as rum. It is noted as a Spirit Drink on the bottle. You might say whats the problem? How are they lying? Well lets break it all down.
Bumbu sits squarely in the middle of the “Rum” section of every supermarket, high end (and not so high end) club/bar and specialist retail store in the UK and beyond. In the online world this does not change Bumbu will still be found in the rum category of most online stores.
Bumbu is legally classified as a “spirit drink” or “rum-based spirit.” It’s a distinction that matters. It is a distinction you will only find in small print on the bottle…….
Bumbu fails to meet the stringent criteria set out in Regulation (EU) 2019/787. To be called Rum a spirit must be distilled from by-products produced as a result of Sugar production, such as Molasses or Sugar Cane Juice.
Rum must have a minimum ABV of 37.5% and crucially it cannot be flavoured at all. Furthermore, EU law mandates that rum cannot contain more than 20 grams of sugar per litre (g/L). Bumbu, with its heavy Banana and Toffee infusion and estimated dosage of between 35 45g/L, misses these marks by a mile. In fact it doesn’t even try to come near.
Unfortunately this does not prevent Bumbu from marketing itself as a “Rum” outside of the EU. More of that follows later in this section.
At this stage I would love to show you the detail on the bottle where they show “Spirit Drink”. Unfortunately without a bottle to hand this has proven near impossible. Bumbu do not include this detail on any of their marketing and I can’t find an image online. If anyone does have one please send it over! Cheers.
By hiding in the rum aisle, they are banking on your ignorance. They use Barbados the spiritual home of rum to hide in plain sight.i
In the EU their entire business model relies on this retail camouflage, tricking the average consumer into paying premium rum prices for a bottle of flavoured, sugary, industrial liquid that shares more DNA with a tub of Ben and Jerrys than it does with a spirit born from a still.
You won’t find any from Bumbu, Malibu, Kahlua or even Baileys pressing retailers to move them all into a dedicated liqueuer section………no chance. Lets keep things easy for the consumer eh? Lets not confuse any with facts when we are here to make money.
If you think I am being over critical of the brand then I’m not the only one who is of this opinion….
Bumbu has been the subject of a class action lawsuit (e.g., Golston v. Bumbu Rum Co. LLC) centered on the allegation that it is deceptively marketed. The core of this legal dispute is that the company positions itself as an “Original Craft Rum” and “Premium Rum” to justify a high price point, even though the liquid does not meet the legal definition of rum in many jurisdictions. Consumers have alleged that they were misled into buying a “distilled spirit” when they were actually purchasing a product closer to a cordial or liqueur.
Unfortunately this didn’t succeed in its aim to prevent Bumbu Golston effectively dropped their case against Bumbu. Sadly why they did this is not disclosed.
Nonetheless I hope this shows I am not some mad consipiracy theorist!
The Industrial Truth: A Distillery That Can Do Better
Let us dismantle the small-batch fairy tale. Bumbu is produced at the West Indies Rum Distillery (WIRD) on Barbados. While industry insiders know this, it remains a massive surprise to the average consumer. WIRD is a colossal industrial facility that functions as a pillar of the Caribbean spirits industry.
The tragic irony is that WIRD is a historic site. They know how to make real rum. They have the equipment to make greatness. Instead, they choose to let their infrastructure be used as a high volume, multi-purpose alcohol plant to churn out Malibu and this Bumbu swill at a mindless scale. It is a shameful waste of a historic distillery’s potential and a total betrayal of the authenticity that Bajan rum represents.
Yes I accept that they have to make money but I wish the current owners would turn their attention to producing some decent rum for a change.
To call Bumbu “Artisan” is a complete fraud. It is the absolute antithesis of craft. When you drink Bumbu, you are tasting a product born from the exact same industrial infrastructure that could be crafting legendary rum.
Sadly it is being used for heartless, inauthentic manufacturing of a very poor product.
The Ageing Myth
Bumbu do not use specific age statements. They are too clever and too fucking cyncial for that.
Instead “The Original” (which is the main focus of this article) they say that it is “aged upto 15 years”. Bumbu uses the blending process to deliberately imply the liquid is a lot older than it actually is. They know this but what happens when the retailer gets their marketing gubbins?
Yup thats right – suddenly its a 15 year old rum. This a standard tactic sadly in the “industrial” rum world.
When industrial brands claim 15 years old, they are usually just throwing a splash of old stock into a massive vat of young and harsh spirit to claim an age that does not exist in any meaningful way. They hope the average customer will not ask or even care. There is no oversight for how much of that old spirit needs to be in the blend. You could have ninety-nine percent young, raw spirit with a single drop of old rum added to the mix. They still call it a 15-year-old product. It is a total mockery.
Bumbu are even cleverer than that they don’t claim 15 years old – they just let the retailers, brand ambassadors, promoters and reviewers sat it for them…..funny once again no one ever gets corrected. Rarely it will get called out.
When you have finished reading this have a look and see how many “negative” articles you find about Bumbu The Original. See if you can spot the companies own marketing bullshit in the copy. I bet it doesn’t take long. Take a note of the sites, reviewers etc who mimic it the most. File them under AVOID AT ALL COSTS for future reference.
The Laboratory Nightmare and the Hydrometer Revolution
Bumbu is dosing their liquid with staggering amounts of artificial additives. They are not letting the actual distillate or the wood from the supposed ageing talk. You will not find any of the usual ageing flavours and aromas in a bottle of Bumbu. The colour, which is marketed as a result of long maturation, is bolstered by caramel colour about as subtle as a sledgehammer. It has created that “perfect” mid Brown/Gold with an Orange hue. It looks lovely. So would by glass of Vodka with enough E150a.
When you test a rum that claims to be natural and the hydrometer shows a high density that only additives can explain, the game is up. These brands despise the hydrometer. They call it a blunt instrument because it measures the truth: it shows exactly how much of your glass is spirit and how much is syrup.
Bumbu The Original? Werthers Original maybe……
Final Thoughts: The Path Forward
We are no longer living in an era where we must blindly accept the romantic stories printed on the back of a bottle. When you see a brand that prioritises marketing over transparency, you must ask yourself why. If the product was truly a Premium and naturally aged spirit, it would not need to dump massive quantities of artificial flavour into the blend.
Today’s focus so far has been solely on Bumbu The Original. They also market Bumbu XO which is a completely different spirit. Its an aged rum from Panama which is ownly mildly dosed and does not contain the flavourings found in “The Original”. Oddly enough it doesn’t sell nearly half as well and is marketing nowhere near as much. Strange eh?
You should stop buying liqueur at rum prices. Stop letting the marketing departments decide what you enjoy.
Look for producers who are proud to tell you exactly how they make their rum and where they make it.
Demand better from the industry and stop settling for products that have no business being called rum. The truth is finally leaking out. Your palate will thank you. Your wallet will thank you. Stop drinking this shit. Please I beg you!